It wasn't like that. [Well. It kind of was, because the more he cares about someone, the more tightly he guards his secrets--he was never going to share it willingly. But at the same time, he remembers how much she opened up to him, how badly he'd wanted to get her home safely. Knowing that he'd failed her, specifically, is a regret that's nestled into his chest, right beside his illness.]
He lifts his hands, as if to reach out to her, then lowers them again, instead loosely gripping his arm as if to hold back.] It wasn't... supposed to get that bad so quickly. I thought I had more time.
[well, listen, it's touch week, so if he reaches out, she reaches in return. she won't grab if he doesn't want to, but she offers a hand, at least.]
I wish you'd had more time. I wish... that all of you had had more time. [she exhales, slow.] But you aren't gone. That's more than I could ever ask for.
also wAUGH. the hug surprises her, but she's very okay with it - she laughs, just a little, and then buries her face against his shoulder, hugging him back. she's gotten better at touching, over time.]
No. [she mumbles.] It aches, sometimes. But I'm told that's normal.
[Do it and join us we have (redacted) and (static noises)
He's quiet for a minute--then strokes her hair, just once, before he finally pulls back.]
I know. I wish you didn't have to. [That she could rely on someone else--that she didn't have to keep fighting, the way she does at home. The way she clearly has for so, so long.] But I never doubted you would.
she leans a little into the touch, the way he strokes her hair - that's nice. when he pulls back, she looks like. exhausted. like she's finally kind of just letting herself not stand up straight in public. she takes what he says and holds it tightly, but... she doesn't know what to say to it. she doesn't have much room for wishing the past was different, these days. if she did, she'd just collapse.]
... I miss all of you. [she says, quietly.] The dead.
[a beat.] Well. Most of you. [three guesses as to who she doesn't miss]
[Seeing that look on her face, he can't help but slide his hands down to take hers, leading her away to sit down somewhere more private. If she joins him, he'll wrap an arm loosely around her shoulders, which will be extremely funny in the moments when he glitches back to Woboji. Fortunately it is affection week so Throné doesn't have to do all the heavy lifting this time.]
We miss you too. [...Should he say this. Probably not. Says it anyway--] I'm pretty sure all of us would've been furious if you'd wound up on our side.
[SOMETIMES... BASICALLY EVERY DEAD PERSON IS VERY FOND OF SOMEONE...]
[she does! he takes her hands, and she goes willingly - it's touch week, but she does seem a little more comfortable with being touched in general. sometimes you make friends with an extremely cuddly teenager and you get used to it.
she leans into the arm he has wrapped around her, and then kind of laughs at that last bit.]
... It's a strange feeling to know that I have that many people who care, but I'm not ungrateful. [she says, glancing at him with a little smile.] I made a promise to stay alive, so with any luck you won't see me there.
He seems content to stay like this, letting her rest against him. It's a poor substitute for true safety and protection, but if it's all he can offer, then it'll have to do.]
Good. [But he also doesn't want her to worry, so he adds--] It's not terrible, though. We're doing fine.
Every time any of you try to explain anything, loud opera singing happens...
[no that was just dahut]
Of all the things I would like an explanation for the most it's the meat. But again. [why are you in the meat dimension. but anyway she knows she ain't getting one]
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... Oh. [well like what do you even say to this, but.] You - you.
[actually hold on she's MAD]
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jk he doesn't get to hide, he glitches back. He will keep doing this throughout the thread I'm just saying it now because I'll forget.]
...I'm sorry.
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she takes a couple steps towards him, though. silence, and then:]
... I know that it isn't the sort of thing you tell a stranger, but I wish you had.
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It wasn't like that. [Well. It kind of was, because the more he cares about someone, the more tightly he guards his secrets--he was never going to share it willingly. But at the same time, he remembers how much she opened up to him, how badly he'd wanted to get her home safely. Knowing that he'd failed her, specifically, is a regret that's nestled into his chest, right beside his illness.]
He lifts his hands, as if to reach out to her, then lowers them again, instead loosely gripping his arm as if to hold back.] It wasn't... supposed to get that bad so quickly. I thought I had more time.
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I wish you'd had more time. I wish... that all of you had had more time. [she exhales, slow.] But you aren't gone. That's more than I could ever ask for.
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If she offers a hand, he'll take it and squeeze tightly... and then cave in and pull her into a hug, once that barrier of hesitation is broken.]
Yeah. [...] Your leg--does it hurt?
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also wAUGH. the hug surprises her, but she's very okay with it - she laughs, just a little, and then buries her face against his shoulder, hugging him back. she's gotten better at touching, over time.]
No. [she mumbles.] It aches, sometimes. But I'm told that's normal.
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His hold tightens a little at her answer, though, unhappy.]
I should've been there. [(He could not have been there anyway) (He doesn't know that)] But you've been... okay, otherwise?
[Apart from all her CR dropping like flies]
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a pause, and then:]
I've... I'll survive. [things have been. hard.] I did survive.
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He's quiet for a minute--then strokes her hair, just once, before he finally pulls back.]
I know. I wish you didn't have to. [That she could rely on someone else--that she didn't have to keep fighting, the way she does at home. The way she clearly has for so, so long.] But I never doubted you would.
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she leans a little into the touch, the way he strokes her hair - that's nice. when he pulls back, she looks like. exhausted. like she's finally kind of just letting herself not stand up straight in public. she takes what he says and holds it tightly, but... she doesn't know what to say to it. she doesn't have much room for wishing the past was different, these days. if she did, she'd just collapse.]
... I miss all of you. [she says, quietly.] The dead.
[a beat.] Well. Most of you. [three guesses as to who she doesn't miss]
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We miss you too. [...Should he say this. Probably not. Says it anyway--] I'm pretty sure all of us would've been furious if you'd wound up on our side.
[SOMETIMES... BASICALLY EVERY DEAD PERSON IS VERY FOND OF SOMEONE...]
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she leans into the arm he has wrapped around her, and then kind of laughs at that last bit.]
... It's a strange feeling to know that I have that many people who care, but I'm not ungrateful. [she says, glancing at him with a little smile.] I made a promise to stay alive, so with any luck you won't see me there.
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He seems content to stay like this, letting her rest against him. It's a poor substitute for true safety and protection, but if it's all he can offer, then it'll have to do.]
Good. [But he also doesn't want her to worry, so he adds--] It's not terrible, though. We're doing fine.
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I know. [breaks continuity a little but:] Dahut told me that you are taking care of each other. Except for the rats.
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To be honest, I'm starting to get used to them. Sometimes they bring us... I think they're supposed to be gifts? [What]
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I see. Can I ask what the gifts... are?
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How to explain this........]
Number magnets... bandages... other, dead rats' bodies...
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I don't understand why there are rats but I suppose I am not meant to know.
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With the way things work here, I almost feel like any explanation would be worse than not knowing.
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[no that was just dahut]
Of all the things I would like an explanation for the most it's the meat. But again. [why are you in the meat dimension. but anyway she knows she ain't getting one]
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He makes a face.]
You and me both. [IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S FINE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
More importantly--] I heard you guys got a dog park?
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[she LOVES the dog park. she has been failing to hide her love for puppies for like five weeks now.]
I like it there. There are... a lot of dogs. [heaven]
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Yeah? Which ones are your favorites? [Is she a Husky girlie or a goldendoodle girlie]
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There's a little corgi that I liked. [...] One of the golden retrievers was very attached to me. I've spent a good amount of time there lately.
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