[she's quiet for a minute, working through it. and then, finally:]
... No, I didn't. [she says, soft. sometimes she has trouble believing that, but these days it's a little easier. these days, someone tells her that she didn't deserve the childhood she had, and she can accept it, think that it was horrific to put a six year old through something like that.
she doesn't feel sorry for herself. she is who she is and nothing can change that. but she can take someone telling her that life shouldn't have been that way for her with grace.]
Thank you.
[for caring, even if she thinks she's irredeemable. deserve or no, she knows she's not a good person.]
[He is!! Not Buzen levels, but nobody is Buzen levels...
He did, however, notice her missing collar--a hard thing not to notice, though he would have anyway, even if it were subtle. It's a little too much to touch her neck, so he gently rubs her back instead.
He hasn't lived her life. He didn't go through the things she went through. But... in a sense, he understands her perspective. He's spent so long focused on the countdown to the end of his life, the hangman's noose tightening around his neck day by day. It's not so much that he feels bereft with the potential of his life back in his hands, but--it's a very strange thing to adjust to.]
...I think there's more to freedom than taking off your shackles. [He says, finally.] Learning what you want--that's just as important.
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... No, I didn't. [she says, soft. sometimes she has trouble believing that, but these days it's a little easier. these days, someone tells her that she didn't deserve the childhood she had, and she can accept it, think that it was horrific to put a six year old through something like that.
she doesn't feel sorry for herself. she is who she is and nothing can change that. but she can take someone telling her that life shouldn't have been that way for her with grace.]
Thank you.
[for caring, even if she thinks she's irredeemable. deserve or no, she knows she's not a good person.]
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(It's more than he can do for himself. Even now, he feels like he's living on borrowed time.)
He'll hug for as long as she seems to want it; if she doesn't pull away, he won't either.]
What will you do now? [After everything's said and done, he means, because thinking that they'll all die serves no one]
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she thinks about that, eyes closed, and then:]
... I don't know. [she says, finally.] I'm a little afraid I won't want anything when I go back.
[when your entire life is spent chasing a goal, and you reach that goal - what do you do? isn't that it? there's an after, but...]
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He did, however, notice her missing collar--a hard thing not to notice, though he would have anyway, even if it were subtle. It's a little too much to touch her neck, so he gently rubs her back instead.
He hasn't lived her life. He didn't go through the things she went through. But... in a sense, he understands her perspective. He's spent so long focused on the countdown to the end of his life, the hangman's noose tightening around his neck day by day. It's not so much that he feels bereft with the potential of his life back in his hands, but--it's a very strange thing to adjust to.]
...I think there's more to freedom than taking off your shackles. [He says, finally.] Learning what you want--that's just as important.