[HELLO MA'AM... I asked for locations but this one I'm actually just going to void. Because as soon as he realizes memories are leaking out again, he's going to be cautious--and as soon as he sees her, he widens his eyes and puts up his hands.]
Careful, the--
[But his warning is too late; before he can put space between them, a rift opens up and drags them both into a memory.]
[okay well unfortunately him interrogating this guy is wildly hot, i'm sorry for throné's terrible taste. she will never say anything about it but it's true.
by the time they come out of the memory, throné looks a little disoriented. huh. it's not like she didn't suspect there was something like this about him, but it's different seeing it. and it's wild experiencing it, when she's been in very similar situations. a beat.]
... Ah. We have much more in common than I thought. [don't joke]
Anyway--Luke hates memshare a lot, which is probably not surprising from the man who lied to the whole ship about being totally fine,,, but at least this one is... not the worst...? It doesn't feel good for her to see it, because Luke doesn't like to show this side of himself unless he has to (and it kind of takes the "secret" out of "secret agent" if everyone sees you agent-ing), but she was one of the first to know his true line of work. Better Throné than, like, Anise.
So when it ends, he mostly just looks exasperated; he runs a hand through his hair, grimacing.]
Looks like we can't avoid these any more than we could before.
[if it helps - she knows it probably doesn't - she doesn't seem to care about him being violent or secret-agenty. if anything it makes her respect him, to know that he can still be kind, even when he's got this other side. she watches him for a moment.]
I know. [And it's emotionshare week again too, so she can feel a pulse of compassion. And while it's certainly not something he wanted her to see, because being used to such things doesn't mean she needs more on her plate--] But we'll be stuck here until it pulls something from you, too.
[And it's not like he doesn't want to know, because he does? He honestly doesn't feel that bad about seeing other people's memories. But still--he cares about her, and he wants to acknowledge that she didn't ask for this.]
You won't be the first or last to see something I don't like to share. [...] It's alright. I won't make you promise not to think differently of me or anything like that.
[there's a little tendril of care in return, something tender under the general confidence that she can't change people's minds.]
[Well the nice thing about being an enormous hypocrite is that it's really easy to sincerely say things like:]
You don't need to worry about that. [It's not like he's any less of a lawful(?) good-aligned cop than he was before, but--well. He saw how she was when she first arrived, and he's had plenty of time to see her flourish here, in a way that, he feels, a person with a black heart could never do. It's not like he'll tell her that she's innocent and pure, but--] I know the you that you are right now.
[i know the you that you are right now makes something twisty and gutted crawl up her throat. not good, not bad. just... something. it has been a journey, figuring out who she is, and it's been even more fucking wild to do it on this ship. she brings her hand up to her throat instinctively, like she's going to touch at her collar - before remembering it isn't there. a huff, like she's amused at herself, touching the skin of her bare neck, but before she can say anything, she's interrupted.
by a castle and a man, standing in the moonlight, the culmination of your journey. watch until the fight starts!]
Imagine if that was Luke's response. No--the nice thing about this week is that it's also affection week, so as the memory ends, he just reaches out and pulls her into a hug.]
[YOU KNOW THE WAY I'M NOT SURE BUT HIS VA'S NAME IS ON THE LIST OF ADDITIONAL VOICES AND NOW I CAN'T BE SURE IT ISN'T DILUC'S VA
this one is the worst out of all of them - it's claude, and everything he is, and how horrifying it was to be told that she escaped her cage just long enough to find that it was preordained, that she was always supposed to end up there. to be called a seed, to know that her mother ended up here. that it was her responsibility to end this cycle when all she wanted was to see the world without the weight of poison around her neck. she's the daughter of something dark and horrific, the result of a powerful man who did not accept a no.
but even more than that, it's a confession. weeks ago, she'd lied to him, and said that she hadn't systematically killed every blacksnake that opposed her to get to where she is. pirro, mother, father. for all that sora reminds her of mother, she might as well put her on that list too.
and so when she comes out of it, she's frightened - because luke didn't want her to make a choice she regretted, and she told him that she wouldn't - because she'd already done it. and she doesn't regret it. not even for a second. but.
he hugs her, and she stiffens, tense. and then very, very slowly rests her head on his shoulder and lets him.]
[He can feel her stiffen, and he's prepared--after all, watching her from afar is not nearly the same thing as being around to see her change himself, and he remembers the violence with which she'd pushed back against him in the beginning.
But it's reassuring to feel her lose that tension anyway--to know that she can bring herself back to the present, if only enough to remember that she's safer now. That she's no longer in that room, that the blood on her hands, while permanent, is an old stain.
He doesn't speak for a little while, simply holding her close. But, eventually--]
You didn't deserve that.
[To be put in that position, where there was no way out. He won't tell her that she had no choice, or that she was right to do any of it. But more than anything, his heart aches for the help she never received, the freedom that she had no choice but to fight for.]
[she's quiet for a minute, working through it. and then, finally:]
... No, I didn't. [she says, soft. sometimes she has trouble believing that, but these days it's a little easier. these days, someone tells her that she didn't deserve the childhood she had, and she can accept it, think that it was horrific to put a six year old through something like that.
she doesn't feel sorry for herself. she is who she is and nothing can change that. but she can take someone telling her that life shouldn't have been that way for her with grace.]
Thank you.
[for caring, even if she thinks she's irredeemable. deserve or no, she knows she's not a good person.]
[He is!! Not Buzen levels, but nobody is Buzen levels...
He did, however, notice her missing collar--a hard thing not to notice, though he would have anyway, even if it were subtle. It's a little too much to touch her neck, so he gently rubs her back instead.
He hasn't lived her life. He didn't go through the things she went through. But... in a sense, he understands her perspective. He's spent so long focused on the countdown to the end of his life, the hangman's noose tightening around his neck day by day. It's not so much that he feels bereft with the potential of his life back in his hands, but--it's a very strange thing to adjust to.]
...I think there's more to freedom than taking off your shackles. [He says, finally.] Learning what you want--that's just as important.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Week 7, Monday
Careful, the--
[But his warning is too late; before he can put space between them, a rift opens up and drags them both into a memory.]
no subject
by the time they come out of the memory, throné looks a little disoriented. huh. it's not like she didn't suspect there was something like this about him, but it's different seeing it. and it's wild experiencing it, when she's been in very similar situations. a beat.]
... Ah. We have much more in common than I thought. [don't joke]
no subject
Anyway--Luke hates memshare a lot, which is probably not surprising from the man who lied to the whole ship about being totally fine,,, but at least this one is... not the worst...? It doesn't feel good for her to see it, because Luke doesn't like to show this side of himself unless he has to (and it kind of takes the "secret" out of "secret agent" if everyone sees you agent-ing), but she was one of the first to know his true line of work. Better Throné than, like, Anise.
So when it ends, he mostly just looks exasperated; he runs a hand through his hair, grimacing.]
Looks like we can't avoid these any more than we could before.
no subject
[if it helps - she knows it probably doesn't - she doesn't seem to care about him being violent or secret-agenty. if anything it makes her respect him, to know that he can still be kind, even when he's got this other side. she watches him for a moment.]
That isn't the worst thing I've ever seen, Luke.
[mildly.]
no subject
[And it's not like he doesn't want to know, because he does? He honestly doesn't feel that bad about seeing other people's memories. But still--he cares about her, and he wants to acknowledge that she didn't ask for this.]
no subject
You won't be the first or last to see something I don't like to share. [...] It's alright. I won't make you promise not to think differently of me or anything like that.
[there's a little tendril of care in return, something tender under the general confidence that she can't change people's minds.]
no subject
You don't need to worry about that. [It's not like he's any less of a lawful(?) good-aligned cop than he was before, but--well. He saw how she was when she first arrived, and he's had plenty of time to see her flourish here, in a way that, he feels, a person with a black heart could never do. It's not like he'll tell her that she's innocent and pure, but--] I know the you that you are right now.
no subject
by a castle and a man, standing in the moonlight, the culmination of your journey. watch until the fight starts!]
no subject
Imagine if that was Luke's response. No--the nice thing about this week is that it's also affection week, so as the memory ends, he just reaches out and pulls her into a hug.]
no subject
this one is the worst out of all of them - it's claude, and everything he is, and how horrifying it was to be told that she escaped her cage just long enough to find that it was preordained, that she was always supposed to end up there. to be called a seed, to know that her mother ended up here. that it was her responsibility to end this cycle when all she wanted was to see the world without the weight of poison around her neck. she's the daughter of something dark and horrific, the result of a powerful man who did not accept a no.
but even more than that, it's a confession. weeks ago, she'd lied to him, and said that she hadn't systematically killed every blacksnake that opposed her to get to where she is. pirro, mother, father. for all that sora reminds her of mother, she might as well put her on that list too.
and so when she comes out of it, she's frightened - because luke didn't want her to make a choice she regretted, and she told him that she wouldn't - because she'd already done it. and she doesn't regret it. not even for a second. but.
he hugs her, and she stiffens, tense. and then very, very slowly rests her head on his shoulder and lets him.]
no subject
But it's reassuring to feel her lose that tension anyway--to know that she can bring herself back to the present, if only enough to remember that she's safer now. That she's no longer in that room, that the blood on her hands, while permanent, is an old stain.
He doesn't speak for a little while, simply holding her close. But, eventually--]
You didn't deserve that.
[To be put in that position, where there was no way out. He won't tell her that she had no choice, or that she was right to do any of it. But more than anything, his heart aches for the help she never received, the freedom that she had no choice but to fight for.]
no subject
... No, I didn't. [she says, soft. sometimes she has trouble believing that, but these days it's a little easier. these days, someone tells her that she didn't deserve the childhood she had, and she can accept it, think that it was horrific to put a six year old through something like that.
she doesn't feel sorry for herself. she is who she is and nothing can change that. but she can take someone telling her that life shouldn't have been that way for her with grace.]
Thank you.
[for caring, even if she thinks she's irredeemable. deserve or no, she knows she's not a good person.]
no subject
(It's more than he can do for himself. Even now, he feels like he's living on borrowed time.)
He'll hug for as long as she seems to want it; if she doesn't pull away, he won't either.]
What will you do now? [After everything's said and done, he means, because thinking that they'll all die serves no one]
no subject
she thinks about that, eyes closed, and then:]
... I don't know. [she says, finally.] I'm a little afraid I won't want anything when I go back.
[when your entire life is spent chasing a goal, and you reach that goal - what do you do? isn't that it? there's an after, but...]
no subject
He did, however, notice her missing collar--a hard thing not to notice, though he would have anyway, even if it were subtle. It's a little too much to touch her neck, so he gently rubs her back instead.
He hasn't lived her life. He didn't go through the things she went through. But... in a sense, he understands her perspective. He's spent so long focused on the countdown to the end of his life, the hangman's noose tightening around his neck day by day. It's not so much that he feels bereft with the potential of his life back in his hands, but--it's a very strange thing to adjust to.]
...I think there's more to freedom than taking off your shackles. [He says, finally.] Learning what you want--that's just as important.